September 15th, 2022
 Palladium – Lyrics

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Palladium

Ooh, ah-ooh, ooh, ah-ooh
Ooh, ah-ooh, ooh, ah-ooh
Ooh, ah-ooh, ooh, ah-ooh
Ooh, ah-ooh, ooh, ah-ooh

Wake me up at midnight
You charge me like a payphone, every time we talk
Meet me in the pink light
Right off I-75
Right before the fall
[Pre-Chorus] You hop inside my car with a tear
Say, “there’s nothing like the fear of losing truth”

I just wanna try to protect you
Like your skin protects your blood
I just wanna keep you safe
The way the forest keeps her young
And if I ever let you go
Then my whole kingdom’s done
I hold to your heart like it’s palladium
I hold to your heart like it’s palladium

Evergreen and asphalt
Dancing on the billboards
First onеs on the scene
And whеn I call you, “Baby”
You smoke up like a chimney
You’re too afraid I’ll leave

Careful with the moon in your eyes
Say, “there’s nothing like the fear of losing time”

I just wanna try to protect you
Like your skin protects your blood
I just wanna keep you safe
The way the forest keeps her young
And if I ever let you go
Then my whole kingdom’s done
I hold to your heart like it’s palladium
I hold to your heart like it’s palladium

Tell me what you need, baby love
(Woo)
Tell me what you need, baby love
Let me come on over with your touch
I’ll make the sky our arena
I’ll be Orion, your Athena
Tell me what you want, baby love
Let it pour out with a touch
I’m only good when I protect you
You try to fall but I won’t let you

I just wanna try to protect you
Like your skin protects your blood
I just wanna keep you safe
The way the forest keeps her young
And if I ever let you go
Then my whole kingdom’s done
I hold to your heart like it’s palladium
I hold to your heart like it’s palladium

Aloe Vera

You reading In Cold Blood
Like the mother fucker that you are
Keep the G&T behind the bar
Grow your own marijuana ‘case the price goes up
Taking quicky little hitties in the parking lot
Reading William S. Burroughs like a beatnik freak
Say there’s poetry in the way we fall asleep
Grow your own aloe vera ‘case you get burnt
Walk into the room saying, ‘Nobody knows my-‘
(baby, baby, baby)
Nobody knows my baby, baby, baby
Nobody knows my-

You’re in the sunroom now
With your Parliament and big red lip
Painting like you’re on Pollock trip
Yeah you’re so sentimental, it’s a bad disease
Haven’t seen your wood floor since before last spring
And when the money ain’t there
Then you just don’t eat
Not like them Silverlake fuckers with their NFTs
Grow your own aloe vera ‘case you get burnt
Walk into the room saying, ‘Nobody knows my baby’
(baby, na, na, na, baby)
Nobody knows my baby (baby)
My baby
(Nobody knows my-)
One, two, three, four
(Nobody knows my-) baby

Where do you go now?
Back out to the heartland where the color has no bounds?
No, only forward now

You reading In Cold Blood
Like the mother fucker that you are
Keep the G&T behind the bar
Grow your own marijuana ‘case the price goes up
Taking quicky little hitties in the parking lot
Reading William S. Burroughs like a beatnik freak
Say there’s poetry in the way we fall asleep
Grow your own aloe vera ‘case you get burnt
Walk into the room saying, ‘Nobody knows my-‘
(baby, baby)
Oh no my (baby)
Yeah nobody knows my baby (baby)
Come on my baby
What you want from me baby?
Nobody knows my baby
Oh
No no no
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Nobody knows my-
Sing

Baby I’m needing something
Baby I need your touching
Baby it’s all I’m wanting (all I’m wanting now)
(nobody knows my-)
Baby I’m needing something
Baby I need your touching
Baby you’re all I’m wanting
(nobody knows my-)
Oh oh oh
My baby
Oh oh oh

Down & Out

I don’t want the same things that I did
When I was pawn shop pistol kid
I don’t watch the same movies that we fell asleep to
If I could I’d burn all those days
Just for taking years off my age
I was in a crowded room that I couldn’t see through

You know now I can’t be what you wanted
When you killed everything that I could be

Oh yeah, oh, oh, baby I don’t want to see
Oh yeah, oh, oh, every shipwrecked part of me
So if you’re done with it now, don’t keep me around
What’s the point of love, if it leaves me down and out?
What’s the point of love, if it leaves me down and out?

Watching every light in this cave
Flicker ’til I slow fade away
Now I’m up on Bowery Street with my blood on the pavement
I’m watching all the lightning strike the buildings
Am I too high now to be forgiven?
Dreaming of the vagabonds that I used to live for

I know now I can’t be what you wanted
When you pulled apart my body seam by seam

Oh yeah, oh, oh, baby I don’t want to see
Oh yeah, oh, oh, every shipwrecked part of me
So if you’re done with it now, don’t keep me around
What’s the point of love, if it leaves me down and out?
What’s the point of love, if it leaves me down and out?
Down and out
Down and out

Oh, oh, baby I don’t want to see
Oh, oh, every shipwrecked part of me
So if you’re done with it now, don’t keep me around
What’s the point of love, if it leaves me down and out?
What’s the point of love, if it leaves me down and out?
Down and out
(Oh, oh, baby I don’t want to see)
Down and out
(Oh, oh, every shipwrecked part of me)

Watchtowers

Tell me what I need baby love
Won’t you tell me where I went wrong in my life?
Sugar coat the crease baby love
Won’t you tell me I’ll find everything I once lost?
Robbers on the scene
Flexing their power, pillage me, all of these watchtowers over me
Show me what I could be baby love
My eyes strong focused on it now, don’t take it away

Black Mascara

I’ve seen a lot of things
I’ve been a lot of places
I love my diamond rings
I wear my pearls when naked
I think I’m better off when I do what I fucking want

So don’t let me down
Don’t take my golden arrow
Don’t smear my black mascara

One day I’ll have some money
After my funeral honey
They’ll say I was a legend
Gone way too soon for heaven
I’ll leave them in suspense
I’m waiting up just for one kiss

So don’t let me down
Don’t take my golden arrow
Don’t take my head out the crown
I ain’t your Cinderella
Don’t smear my black mascara

You lost me out by the creek
When you could hardly speak
Say that you’d die for me
So I now give it all away (hey)
Last night attention that I crave

I’ve got too much left to prove
My flowers still want to bloom
No one really has an excuse
No I can’t give it all away (hey)
That’s not the future that I crave

I’ve seen a lot of things
I’ve been a lot of places
I love my diamond rings
I wear my pearls when naked
I think I’m better off when I do what I fucking want

Mercury Year

Found my way out of the crimson
If I’m gone now, know that I’ll never be returned
Back to love, or to the body
Need some time now, to find myself honey

I don’t like the way that I’ve been living like I am
Try my best to understand
I’ll never understand
I need you babe

Come take my pain away
I think back to what you’d say
You’re only as good as your fear
I’m caught in between, I’m in my Mercury Year

Where’s your trust, if you are the wise one
What do you want now? No you’re not clever like you were
When I drove off, and you sang the balcony song
And I sang along, and you saw the glimpse of what was lost

But you don’t like the way I’m living
Tired as a lamb
Drawn out like my blood but you will never understand
I need you babe

Come take my pain away
I think back to what you’d say
You’re only as good as your fear
I’m caught in between, I’m in my Mercury Year
Come take my pain away

I’m scared that the silence
Reveals what you’re hiding
Keep talking, I can’t analyze it
No I don’t like this hard stance
It’s not who I am
I don’t think I’ll ever understand

Come take my pain away
I think back to what you’d say
You’re only as good as your fear
I’m caught in between, I’m in my Mercury Year

I’d take your pain away
I think what the gods would say
We’re ever in change my dear
Caught in between, I’m in my Mercury Year

Athena

I’m not fuckin’ around anymore
Got my pedal pushed down to the floor, my, my
Say that you know me, babe
But no one really knows me, baby
Thought I was better with some self-dedication
That’s what I get for making cold proclamations
I go ahead and kiss the ground
My head’s getting heavy on this side of town

But you got it
And I want it more
Than you could ever know
Smoke my way to heaven on the bathroom floor

Singing where is Athena?
God damn it, I need her
To save me from all of this nothingness out on my own
I’m too dangerous to know
I need a holy vibration, that wanting
To show me that one day I might be worth something, I hope
No, I’m done with bеing proud
I need some love now

I don’t wanna be thе man I was
I wanna jump into the innocence of your touch
Fall into your ocean hands
Pick me like a cherry blossom in Japan

And we could fly away till we don’t recognize the people
And you can tell your friends back home, but boy, they won’t believe you, no
‘Cause I want you more than that
Praying to her temple, I won’t fall off track

I’m singing where is Athena?
God damn it, I need her
To save me from all of this nothingness out on my own
I’m too dangerous to know
I need a holy vibration, that wanting
To show me that one day I might be worth something, I hope
No, I’m done with being proud
I need some love now

I need some love now
Mmm, yeah

‘Cause you got it
And I want, want it more
Than you could ever know
Meet you up in heaven on my bedroom floor

I’m singing where is Athena?
God damn it, I need her
To save me from all of this nothingness out on my own
I’m too dangerous to know (Too dangerous to know)
I need a holy vibration, that wanting
To show me that one day I might be worth something, I hope
No, I’m done with being proud (I’m done being proud)
I need some love now

Pallas

I need some love now, now, now
I thought
I thought you
I thought you were the one
Holding my heart
Holding my heart like it’s
Holding my heart like it’s palladium

Homerun Hitter

If I’m gonna say it like it is
We’ve become identical to them
We’ve become the strangers we don’t know
A dying rose
I’m forty miles North of where we met
You’re forty miles South of where we live
It doesn’t matter where we try to go
If all the exits are closed

There’s nothing I could say
To keep my head above the water
There’s nothing I could do
If I lose one, I lose two

‘Cause I thought you were the Homerun Hitter, the cherry that never bitters
Like the first taste of heat, the feeling I want to keep until I’m dead (Dead, dead)
There’s nothing I could do (Do, do)
And I thought you were a Cold Blood Assassin, a truth I couldn’t imagine
But that light never painted the room
Now there’s nothing I could do (Do, do)
To make it easier on you

It’s more than just the fire going out
It’s more than just the candles on the ground
It’s everything you wanted us to be
The parts I won’t see
The door I always locked, you left it open
Too afraid that you would blink and it would close-in
And we would lose our vulnerability
Oh, we were so naive

‘Cause I thought you were the Homerun Hitter, the cherry that never bitters
Like the first taste of heat, the feeling I want to keep until I’m dead (Dead, dead)
There’s nothing I could do (Do, do)
And I thought you were a Cold Blood Assassin, a truth I couldn’t imagine
But that light never painted the room
Now there’s nothing I could do (Do, do)
To make it easier on—

Easier on—, easier on—
Easier on—, easier on—
Easier on—, easier on—
Easier on you

There’s nothing I could say to keep those gorgeous eyes from crying
There’s nothing I could do
If I lose you, I lose too

‘Cause I thought you were the Homerun Hitter, the cherry that never bitters
Like the first taste of heat, the feeling I want to keep until I’m dead (Dead, dead)
There’s nothing I could do (Do, do)
And I thought you were a Cold Blood Assassin, a truth I couldn’t imagine
But that light never painted the room
Now there’s nothing I could do (Do, do)
To make it easier on—

Easier on—, easier on—
Easier on—, easier on—
Easier on—, easier on—
Easier on you

Panthers

Maybe one day I’ll be strong enough to make it through the night
Maybe one day I’ll be cool enough to be loved by you
Burn a 4-miler just to see if I could swallow all my pride
Up in Laurelvale, drinking wine, staring up at the noose
Maybe I’m not worth your time

Paint my face in hope darling
That you’ll wake up to hunt
If only I could be what you want
Be the target of your love
I need a minute

My Dying Spirit

I’m barely on my feet, mama
Barely holding on by a thread
Every night I lose a different friend
Thought I had it how I wanted
Far away as I could ever dream
I don’t think California’s my speed

All on my own
All I know

If I’m high like those other guys you’ve kissed
Maybe I’ll find you in my bed again
But I’m all alone, living on the edge
I’m right at the limit
Will I ever heal my dying spirit

I’m hanging on needless hunger
Keeps the tears out the devil’s eyes
I don’t eat because he tells me that it’s fine
Barely even standing now
Goddamn I need another round
I can hear my name out in the crowd, yeah, yeah

If I’m high like those other guys you’ve kissed
Maybe I’ll find you in my bed again
But I’m all alone, living on the edge
I’m right at the limit
Will I ever heal my dying spirit

If I was a hotel lobby, you’d be mighty fucking sorry to be staying at this piece of shit right off highway 9
I’m on the floor of my kitchen on a [?] mission
Find a little calm
Please ease my mind
I’m so sorry Alex, I won’t make her graduation
But tell [?] girl she’s the apple of my eye
Tell her, take your time
Take your time
Take your
Take your
Take your time
I get high

Yeah, oh baby, yeah
Every night I’m hanging on by a thread
Yeah, oh baby, yeah
I’ll never heal it, my dying spirit

Hemingway, 74 rue de Cardinal

I’m no Hemingway in Paris
Sketching stories in the rain
I don’t dream in masterpieces
No, I drown it in champagne
I thought we’d make it to the end
I thought I’d be a better person than i am
I’m no Dylan in the Village
Putting typewriters to shame
I’ve got stacks of empty paper
I’ve got nothing to my name
I wish my heart was not afraid of what is real

And oh, if I find myself again, will my soul be disappointed in my skin?
And oh if I find my revolution, will I be triumphant or will I be ruined?
I hate I’m leaving you, with no words left to say

I’m no Joni in the canyon
Painting pictures with my voice
I’m not out back picking flowеrs
No I’m screaming at the choice
I thought I’d lovе you to the end
I thought I’d be fucking better than I am
I’m no Hemingway in Paris
But I’m drunk to say the least
Thought if I could find some distance
In the silence, I’d find peace
But I’m still fighting in this war
When I know victory ain’t what I’m looking for

And oh, if I find myself again, will my soul be disappointed in my skin?
And oh if I find my revolution, will I be triumphant or will I be ruined?
And oh, if I find myself again, will my soul be disappointed in my skin?
And oh if I find my revolution, will I be triumphant or will I be ruined?
I hate I’m leaving you, with no words left to say

There’s no slip of the tongue, when I don’t have one
A vacant declaration as a vision of the end
I’m in Oak Park, Illinois, dreaming about the rue du Cardinal
Broken Merlot bottle catching sunrise on an edge
I’m no Hemingway, I’m no Dylan, I’m no Joni, I’m just speechless

The Balcony Song

I’d be better off if I could understand the vacancy between
Where I’m going, where you live, and where my soul’s supposed to be
Do I take your touch for granted now that I know I am not the seeker
Hell, I’ll never make the Palisades
And you won’t either

If I wait, where will I land
A down robin, my wings in your hand
But still I keep shaking in

The fire of the night, you started wars inside the corners of my chest
The vicious look inside your eyes when you lit my skin likе a match
But I would never treat mе in the way you did, after the confession
Hell, I’ll never make it your age
Learned your lesson

If I wait, where will I land
A down robin, my wings in your hand
I keep shaking in
So I just breathe, breathe you all in
Like I’m starving for your oxygen
But goddammit you know that you’re just too good for my show
And I’m scared cause I know that I am, still not ready to do it alone

 

 


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